Switzerland is no UTOPIA and India is no HELL!!!!

In an archive, I had talked about how one of my esteemed friends bragged about the methodical, organized and meticulous ways of life abroad ridiculing and mocking the chaotic and bantering lifestyle of India!!

Last week, as I boarded my flight to Zurich – embarking on my first trip abroad – I ran through the experience of anxiety and uncertainty, the emotions of awe amidst a deep found gratitude towards my employer for creating this new chapter in my life. Ironically, with changing times – crossing the oceans today elevates a man to a new found recognition in society as compared to the earlier days when it was considered a taboo……

So as my mother propagated the departure of her son to the most beautiful place in the world amidst pride and pomp to her colleagues, as my cousins gave me looks of awe and my aunts (their mothers) gave them speeches of inspiration positioning me and my new achievement as their benchmark – I wondered at the marvel of this phenomenon of going abroad, and the honor that it brought with itself!!!

The aircraft that I was flying on was easily the biggest that I had ever seen in my life (I have had my share of flights!) and to a large extent – the encounters of going away from the familiarity of your country and its life began to hit me the moment Swiss air and its hospitable staff took off from my lands!!!

I saw fair skinned people all around me, with discolored hair – some men looked like women, while some women looked like men – they all spoke different languages and wore unisex clothes – all of them were aliens returning home and as I saw the slums of dharavi zap through the air strip – I had the first indication of being thrown away from my comfort zone!!!
From here on things were very different, the seat belt wouldn’t hook easily – the in flight entertainment system would only not work for me – to find the wireless remote that would shuffle channels looked like a treasure hunt, and once I discovered it tagged under the arm of my chair, to remove it was another embarrassing ordeal!!!

Early morning, the air hostess woke me up for coffee – as I looked at my lukewarm cup with drowsy eyes, I smelt something raw – the drink was black, sugarless and without milk. The flight GPS showed that we were passing above the ALPS, I peeped out of the window and thought that the skies had come down – with the ray of sun screeching through the clouds and a huge blanket of snow covering the earth, I was struggling to interpret this splendor of nature – I had not seen anything like this before, a morning so unique, a coffee so different, people so unfamiliar, sounds and conversations so unusual and a land so white, pure and beautiful!!

Zurich airport, immigration and rail-station is a four storied building – it being one of the busiest airport in the world….My co passenger said, if you haven’t been to Heathrow – take a keen look at the airstrip and the radar inclination – every 5 minutes, we saw a flight landing…as if like magic, like a relay race, like an army queue – a flight would appear from within the clouds, behind white mountains and land in the blue looking strip and as it taxied, another would do a replay and as the other one taxied, another would follow suit – all smooth, no jerks and on time!!!
Electronic trains would transmit you from one terminal to another terminal within the airport, you only would have to change floors to transport yourself from the aerodrome to the rail station, before you know your baggage is screened and dispatched and you are set for your onward journey into Switzerland!!!

My first insight into a foreign country was overwhelming; Airports, escalators, pay phones, washrooms, baggage belts, aerodrome bridges, roads, lounges, immigration, customs, helpdesks, rail tracks, wagons, aerial view, country side landscapes, hills, rivers, yatches, cars and skyscrapers – everything about Switzerland seemed magnificent and beautiful – Construed by God, Constructed by Man – My first entry across the seas of India was an education, if not an experience!!!

I took my train to Basel – for a second class ticket, I thought the ambience within the coaches were quiet extravagant…There were first class coaches, some were no smoking, some were silent (meaning you aren’t allowed to speak in them), some double deckers and some carried only dining halls along zig zag routes through the alps and above the RHINE….

As I peeped out of the window discovering the looks of my new lands, I realized how vastly my country of origin and my current host were different. If economics are any indication, Swiss is one amongst the top 3 countries carrying the highest standard of living while India is 86th in the latest rankings. The roads that I was wading through had never seen a war till date, while my country’s lands have suffered 3 national wars amidst a perennial civil and communal crisis. Swiss has enjoyed fundamental independence along with god gifted natural splendor while by the time we Indians regained our soil, the British had robbed us of our inheritance for 200 years…..

Countries like the Swiss constructed, while the Indians resurrected – Countries like Swiss progressed, while India regained control – Countries like Swiss developed while India was just establishing its existence… While India can defend itself by saying that history has never been kind to its fate, that it is 10 times as big as the lands on which I walk today and that it has to feed and employ 20 times the people with whom I converse with today – India can only defend, not justify!!!

Our country has a long way to go – if it has the constraints, it also has the means – if it has too many to be fed, it also has too many to till - If it has too many to be sheltered, it has too many to be employed – If it has a tainted history, it has a faculty of penance and an ambition to progress – if it has a diseased and infected mode of governance, it has the will of its people – if it has a need to progress, men like me give it hope !!!!!

Strangers walking down the roads give you a smile, irrespective of your recognition – it hardly takes one to break the ice with the other – over a ride in the elevator, you d greet and strike a conversation with your co-passenger within seconds to end up discussing about the last night s football game and the weather in Basel – But that is the most you can intrude!!! You would be working with your European colleague (same like ur fren in the elevator) for ages, but would have no clue how many kids does he have and which school do they study in – Its easy to break the social circle amidst the whites, while the personal circle orbit is very strong and they hold its intrusion very dear to their hearts; While we Indians are opposite, we do not break the ice easily while once done, we allow unprecedented intrusion!!!

As you cross the roads on a zebra, you d find the whole world respecting your endeavor and waiting for you to pass by; You would never experience a power cut; it would be snowing outside, yet within your house – you can roam around wearing your shorts; Post offices would give you electronic receipts; Railway stations will give you combo offers and designer swipe cards, Prostitution and Strip Clubs would be legalized, available across every nook and corner and accommodated within the culture….

Swizerland is as romantic a place can be; blue skies, cozy homes, pristine rivers, aristocratic buildings, artsy pictures, monumental museums and perfumed air – Despite all the aura around it, the alps here remind me of my hills, the Rhine of my waters, the crowd of my mob, the isolation of my family and home, the unfamiliarity of my acquaintance(s), the bizarre of the usual, the exotic of the ordinary, the order and harmony of the chaos and confusion – Switzerland is beautiful, but somewhere down the line, I get the feeling that it is not mine!!!!

I am all enamored by the Swiss, I think they have built a very beautiful and an organized country, I wish India was like Switzerland –I hope one day it becomes the same; however, I have to leave, I cant stay here – My home is dirty, Its unorganized and not as beautiful as here, but it’s all the same – Switzerland is no utopia and India is no hell ! :)

"LOVE" – a bliss -> a fantasy -> an illusion - > a hallucination -> a perception -> a virtual reality -> a blatant mistake?????? -> a divinity!!!!

To be very honest, I am very surprised to find myself writing on this topic – nevertheless, this space has been my biography and requires all entries to be recorded – even if the content is beyond my own imagination – so be it!!!!

Hence, I must confess that this latest post took an eternity to arrive, because I found myself too occupied – living certain days for myself, trapped amidst something recognizable but uncontrollable called – LIFE!!

I have always been a person who has had high regards for rationality – and an even higher precedence towards practicing the same as an approach to live and survive. This means that more than once, emotions have had to make a compromise – because their cravings were unrealistic, illusionary and blissful!! This means that temptations have had to more than once be murdered, because they were wilting to succumb to impossibilities!!!

This means that to long, to crave, to yearn, to aspire, to LOVE – the heart had to seek numerous permissions, pass several examinations and rational interventions of prudence and foresight – and only if every test was cleared upto satisfaction – would it be allowed to have its ways!!
The principles governing the emotional hub has always been – if it aint right - it aint possible, its never momentary - its for a lifetime, if it aint attributed to longevity - it aint realistic – it aint happening!!!

And today, if it has got what it has loved – guess it’s earned its prize and rightly deserves so!!!

More so, I do not know, who is luckier – the prize to have got the victor or the victor to have been honored with the prize – however, the prize definitely must be congratulated to have passed the severest of examinations!!

Over the last 3 months, I have lived like one would live in the movies – moments shaped like stills, minutes like shots, days like frames – emotions instilled the impulses while rationality and maturity directed action as life wrote its own script.

Contrary to popular beliefs, to fall in love isn’t a very complicated process – A is from Mars and meets B who is from Venus, they come from different planets, come with a history, different genetics, different memories, and different upbringing(s) and develop an acquaintance at some juncture when the orbits intersect.

Despite the veracities, they strike a chord, further re-enforcements lead to an emotional connect between the two – and in turn, they share things that mean the world to themselves and when they are accepted and understood by the other – they are comforted and are more willing to be with each other than with anyone else, cause none has been so considerate, affectionate and understanding – they name the relationship as to be in love with each other, which does nothing but promote A and B in designation to be called more than friends, exercise certain rights over each other and also in turn demand certain expectations.

A and B might pass through all these phases, however for them to be eventually together for a lifetime – they need to appease certain stakeholders, who have been primarily responsible for their existence and govern their life(s) – if they fail to do so, they might have to fall apart. In the case of the later happening, the process is painful, but nevertheless they made the mistake of living their life for that moment and showed lack of foresight – they repent, cry, howl, die everyday and then recover amidst a renaissance of life!!!!

Despite all this I say that the process isn’t complex, the participants are!!! Inevitably, they make it humanly complex!!!!

Things get even more complex if the participants are more in number and it’s just not only A and B!! Even if the numbers are more than a pair, things go worse if the count is odd!!!

The breeds are unpredictable, both to an extent are selfish and both fall prey to temptations – more than once, hurting one too many and at times falling in grace, self respect and dignity. I fail to understand the disappearance of education, intelligence and self governance amidst this blasphemy of emotions. At times things can get far more embarrassing than the Indian parliament and the thoughts and actions can get far more emotional and dangerously fanatic!!

A and B – fall in love, recognize each other as elixirs of their lives – are inseparable – then realize that they did not follow protocols and both together would not be accepted – by parents or by society, at times they might fall just for the sake it and then realize that they weren’t made for themselves – this realization can set in at the end of 2 weeks or can set in even after a period of 4 to 5 years of companionship, at times they just get together thinking that they might need each other for support – they fail to understand the involvement that the relationship would demand and it would go beyond mere companionship, dependency and support – by the time they realize that, its too late to push themselves back - they cry, howl, crib, suffer – survive – MOVE ON – find C and D – WHO UNDERSTAND – and live through the process again. We can only hope that this next innings lives for a lifetime!!!!

Sometimes, A wouldn’t let go of B – despite things going nowhere – while B would want to MOVE ON (a favourite jargon of the affected breed!!) and C would want to UNDERSTAND (another favourite jargon of the accepting tribe!!) and this transaction of love – I call it a transaction cause sometimes you would emote to sell yourself, emote cause the relationship demands it, emote artificially, sometimes you d also try and push yourself onto another person and manufacture love – rather let me call it the business of love enters many more complications – until time and life writes another script of its own!!!

As I saw this movie, being produced – directed and screened live, I hated the acts more than the characters – though its easy for one to blame the characters, but being humans they behave as the situation forces them to behave!!!

B leaves C and MOVES ON breaking all promises made for 4 years – B is not at fault, B doesn’t bother to tell C the reason – B may not be at fault again – the world judges B to be the villain, cause C has been speaking to the world about how hurt and distraught C is while B has chosen to be silent in his/her acts – the world is not at fault!!! C, however only tells the sympathetic part of his story to the world to generate more opinion on his favor, while there is more to it – C is still not at fault!!!

B and C made an attempt and failed – be it for 4 years, but still failed – both do not see hope in each other – C ‘FOUND HOPE’ in D – while B has to find hope in the rest of the world!!! Hence, C immerses himself/herself in D while B sells his side of the story to the world – the hungry world listens to the tragic story and appeases its appetite for gossip and allows time to re-organize new relationships, old status quo’s and accommodates new members!!!

The scenarios can assume many proportions, Z and Y ‘GO AROUND’ – then decide after some years that they aren’t clicking – they MOVE ON – Z finds X and Y finds W – and then despite memories of pasts hanging around their heavy hearts, amidst optimism they live in hope – meanwhile X and W immerse themselves honestly and completely in Z and W, UNDERSTANDING the baggage of their past – Z and Y however accidentally have a rendezvous – be it by choice or be it by design - they meet and recollect their old charm and chemistry – throwing away all four of them in a haywire – until again they decide to pick their own pair and really MOVE ON !!!

At the end of it all, given the situations witnessed, the experiences garnered – I have come to a conclusion that TO LOVE is to not only emote, to attract, to understand, to empathize and live for the moment – along with all that TO LOVE is also to appreciate, to assimilate, to analyze, to comprehend, to unprecedentedly commit, to respect and to sensitize and satisfy all meaningful stakeholders in life.

A has to not only love B, has to love the making of B, has to love the people involved in the making of B, love the fallacies of B and respect B for what he/she is, where he/she comes from, what he or she proposes to do with life and for whom does he/she proposes to live for.

Only if A loves and respects all this, and is in turn respected by B’s world can this phenomenon proceed – last for a lifetime – else it will fade inevitably – and people will MOVE ON – and people will UNDERSTAND – until people DECIPHER the true meaning and all pervasiveness of LOVE and hopefully find it too, at some juncture!!!